


A Fool Such As I am

by AweburnPhoenix



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Angst, Cancer Arc, F/M, Haitian Vodou, Hurt/Comfort, Illnesses, Spirits, Spiritualism, UST to RST, Voodoo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-19
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-12-24 01:36:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21091229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AweburnPhoenix/pseuds/AweburnPhoenix
Summary: Written for the X-Files Spooky Fanfic Exchange (2019)Mulder tries a different approach to try and help with Scully’s illness.}» Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcasthere





	A Fool Such As I am

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Foxygirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foxygirl/gifts).

> My knowledge of Haitian Vodou has improved a lot thanks to this word prompt, so a huge THANK YOU to Amber for it. It’s a really interesting religion and I wished I had had more time to learn about it. This is probably not exactly the way it works, but I changed and added some things for the sake of the story and our lovely pair.
> 
> I tried to include as many of your preferred tags along with the Spooky word (voodoo), so I chose a s4 story, with UST to RST, dark, angst, illness, first time, spirits, hurt/comfort.  
Hope this is close to what you wanted and that you enjoy this little piece I came up with. Happy reading!!
> 
> Last but not least, I wanna give a huge shoutout to Astrid, Val and Monika for her beta help 😍😃

If he were to tell her what he was about to do, she’d quickly tell him not to.  _ Mulder, you’re crazy, it's nonsense _ . That was why he wasn’t planning for her to know until he made sure it worked. Because it had to. It was his last bullet.

The guys were looking high and low in the dark net for a cure. Scully was so fiercely stuck in her science, so Mulder was the only one left to check on  _ extreme possibilities _ . He’d visited holistic therapies, chakra aligners, witches, and all kinds of healers. The last thing on his list was a Mambo Vodou Priestess.

“Hey, Mulder, any plans for this weekend?” he suddenly heard Scully and looked her way. 

She got up from her desk and walked towards the rack by the door to retrieve her coat. She kept acting as if everything was fine, even when they both knew it wasn’t.

“Nah, I’ll just spend some time with the guys, uncover government conspiracies… the usual stuff.”

_ Liar. You’re such a nasty liar _ . But so was she, And even if they had that unspoken pact of always being honest to each other, they were breaking it day in and day out.

“Sounds like a great plan…”

Mulder sensed her hesitation and noticed her opening her mouth again but she closed it before saying anything else.

“Anything wrong? You okay?” he pressed. Scully didn’t talk much about her disease, as much as he tried for her to open up.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I just was gonna ask you to come watch  _ Independence Day _ on Saturday night, but I guess… maybe another week,” Scully smiled and started to leave.

They had talked about it the week before and Mulder teased her for not having watched  _ such a great movie _ . 

“Hey, no. I’ll be there. Conspiracies will wait. You need to watch that ASAP!” he replied a little more enthusiastically than he should have. It made her smile making it completely worth it.

Once he made sure she had left the basement, having heard the elevator doors open and close again, Mulder got up from his desk. He went for the door and closed it to ensure more privacy. He wasn't expecting any visitors, and Scully probably wouldn’t come back, but he didn’t want to be considered any creepier than he already was. 

As fast as he could, Mulder checked the trash can by Scully's desk. There it was, exactly what he needed. A little bunch of auburn hair tickled his palm and he quickly placed it into an evidence bag. He knew it wouldn’t be a problem getting  _ something from the person in need _ , but at the same time, it made him sad. The cancer therapies were taking their toll on Scully’s body. Even though she tried to hide it, Mulder noticed her throwing out some strands of hair more often than not. He put the bag in his coat and rushed out. He still had some things to buy, and about one hour drive. He didn’t want to be late to his first séance. 

+++++++

Lady Patricia, Mambo Priestess, was already waiting for him at the Naval Academy Cemetery in Annapolis. Since Mulder was sure Scully wouldn’t attend the ceremony, plan B was needed. Lady Patricia had decided that they needed to be as close to Scully’s roots as they could. Choosing the place where she was born was a must. Out of all the cemeteries in Annapolis, the closest to the sea and most related to Scully seemed like their best option. Lady Patricia would be the vessel for the connection and Mulder would need to ask for the lwa’s help. The lwa, or loa, were the thousands of spirits in Vodou Religion, that served as a connection between humans and the God, the entities to which one needs to make offerings to ask for their help.

The cemetery was closed at that late hour, but it was not something that would stop Mulder. After all, he was a master in trespassing. With a quick look around, he opened the lock and let Patricia in, before sneaking in himself and leaving the chain set around the gates so that a passer-by wouldn’t alert the authorities. Not that he imagined that anybody was going to roam around the cemetery at that Friday midnight.

As fast as they could, they snuck inside and Mulder followed the woman who was looking for the perfect spot to carry out the seance. 

“Here,” she finally said, opening the folding table she had been carrying. “You bringed everything I asked you?” She added, with her thick accent.

“I think so.”

Mulder started picking things out of the bag. A bottle of rum, fancy cigars, peanuts, and finally, the little bag containing Scully’s hair. Lady Patricia nodded and started working her magic.

First she grabbed the hair and attached it to a little rag doll. Mulder had been surprised to find out that Vodou dolls were only a thing of healing, and never to curse people as everybody had been led to believe. Once the doll was ready, Patricia bathed it in a glass of rum and poured a second one to offer the lwa. Next, she lit a cigar and left it on the table.

Mulder wondered if the things he had bought would go to waste. He hadn’t wanted to skimp on his expense and had chosen the most expensive bottle and packages. The last thing he wanted was to piss off the waking spirit by getting cheap and nasty. 

Lady Patricia put on a black coat and a top hat. Stuffing some cotton in her ears and nose, she started dancing and chanting and Mulder started getting anxious.  _ Please, please, let this work _ …

Suddenly, her movement stopped and she walked towards the table, gulped on the rum bottle and puffed on the cigar.

“Not bad, young man. Not bad,” Lady Patricia uttered, with a darker voice than her usual. “What can me do for you,  _ Marty _ ?”

Mulder was startled. How could she know his 900 name? And then he understood: he was no longer talking to Lady Patricia.

“I, uhm… I would like you to intercede for a friend of mine,” he started, hinting at the doll on the table. “She’s sick, and I don’t think her time should come already.”

“A friend, you say… just _ friend _ ?” The spirit teased, gulping on the bottle again. “I’ll see what I can do.”

The woman grabbed the doll and sniffed it. With a sudden spasm, her body landed on the earth. Mulder rushed to help her up as she slowly came to.

“Did it go well?” She asked him, rubbing her head.

“I think so…”

+++++++

Mulder was left uneasy. He had had plenty of dubious encounters with spirits, monsters and the like. But never before had he been so restless. Maybe it was just because of the reason behind it. He needed this to work out. 

He didn’t get back home until after 3 AM, and even though he was used to being up so late, he was tired. As soon as he hit the couch, it only took him a couple of minutes to fall asleep. He didn't even bother to change clothes. The whole night, he kept dreaming about misty graveyards and people with painted faces, dancing all around. The most disturbing man, however, was a really thin and small one, dressed solely in black, wearing shades, a top hat, and a cane. Throughout the whole mayhem of his dream, that guy stood still, staring at Mulder intently with a mischievous smirk on his face. 

When the sun rose, Mulder was far from rested and spent the whole morning and afternoon drowsy. By mid-afternoon, he decided enough was enough and took a cold shower to brighten himself up. It worked, more or less, and he felt full of energy by the time he hit the road towards Scully’s. 

When she opened the door, Mulder was pleasantly surprised. She looked good. There was a smile on her face and her skin had a rosy tone, instead of the usual pale. He wondered whether his prayer to the lwa had worked already or if she was just wearing different make-up. Her eyes were different, too. She didn’t usually go overboard on the eyeliner, but today she had. Her eyelashes looked thicker, and there was a brown shadow on her eyelids… Had she upgraded her make-up just for a movie night?

“You coming in?” she said, and he realized he had been staring at her for longer than usual. “You feeling alright? You look so exhausted—.”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Mulder answered quickly, getting in and hanging his coat on the rack. “I just didn’t sleep much.”

“We can do this another day, if you wanna go back—.”

“No!” He felt a little on edge, and tried to calm down. “I’m fine, really. Let’s watch Will Smith kicking those aliens' asses.”

The smell coming from the kitchen was delicious. Mulder had offered to bring some pizza or Chinese food, but Scully asked him not to. She was trying to eat as healthy as possible to boost her immune system, so she would be cooking something. Mulder had then offered to come earlier to help, but she reassured him there was no need as she had nothing else to do the whole day and it would keep her mind occupied. 

He entered the kitchen and noticed the pan still simmering. Inside was a mix of vegetables and what looked like slices of chicken breast, and some nuts.

“I’ll poach the eggs and we can get started,” she said coming up from behind him and going to the fridge. “Do you want a beer?”

Mulder noticed she had only taken one out, so he gathered she wouldn’t be taking one for herself. Not wanting her to feel left out, he refused.

“Nah, I’ll have whatever you’re having,” he found himself saying.

“You sure?” she looked at him with a puzzled face.

He nodded and sat down at the kitchen table. Watching her pour two glasses of a thick green beverage made him second-guess his decision. He tried to look cool, anyway. It couldn’t be that bad if she was having it, right?

Scully offered him the glass and even though he wasn’t thirsty, he took a gulp as she was intently looking at him. It was a bit weird, but it didn’t taste bad.

“What does it have in it?” he asked, truly interested.

“Spinach, apple and lemon,” she replied, taking a sip herself, seemingly pleased that he hadn’t spat it out. “You can head to the living room, I’ll be there in a sec,” she ushered him out of the kitchen.

“Do I bring something with me, or—?”

“Go! I got it all covered!”

Mulder sat on the couch and tried to be calm. Lately, he had been coming to her place more often than usual, but he still felt like an intruder. She had set a couple placemats on the coffee table, some napkins, and a bunch of lit candles. It was definitely the nicest couch-dinner he had ever had. 

“ _ Bon appétit _ ,” Scully offered him a plate before sitting by his side and pressing the play button to start the movie.

They ate their dinner while watching it, and Mulder was pleased to see Scully was enjoying herself. She smiled and laughed; something she hadn't done often the past few weeks. Once they cleared their plates, Mulder offered to clean them up, but Scully reassured him that she’d do it the following day. It was so nice seeing her so relaxed. 

Little by little, Scully moved closer to him. Mulder was startled when she rested her head on his shoulder and he heard her snoring softly. He was going to pause the movie so she could go to bed, but couldn’t help staring at her calm body resting on his. He didn’t know how long he spent fixating on her, but it must have been a while because he got roused by the final credits music.

“Bummer, I missed the ending!” she yawned, waking up. “Did we win?”

“Yep, America has saved the world, once again.”

Scully didn’t move from his shoulder and Mulder, though happy about it, was getting slightly uncomfortable about her closeness. It became even weirder when she sat up, moved closer and went for his lips. He wasn’t expecting that but he welcomed her move. Scully’s lips were warm, and wet, and tasted like heaven on Earth. Mulder couldn’t believe this was happening and had to push away the thought that there was something wrong about it. He had been wanting this for so long. Suddenly, he started tasting some rum and smoke on Scully’s lips and he opened his eyes, startled: she hadn’t been drinking, and she definitely hadn’t smoked.

That was when he caught a glimpse of the man who'd stalked his nightmares; the person dressed in black. He was leaning on Scully's living room’s door frame, holding his big cigar. Mulder was so startled that he pushed Scully back forcefully. So much so that she landed on her back at the other end of the couch. When he looked at the door, there was no one.

“I’m so sorry, Scully, I thought I saw something…”

“Jesus, Mulder,” Scully whined, sitting up and rubbing her back. “For the life of me, I can’t understand you. You are always flirting, pulling all the moves... and when I decide to go forward, you push me back. I’m not a plaything, you know? I’m dying, for fuck’s sake. ” A silent tear made its way down her cheek. “Ugh, is that it? Now that I’m skinny and wilted, you don’t want me anymore.” Her eyes were red, but she wouldn’t allow herself to cry in front of him.

Scully’s clock sounded midnight. Then, for a millisecond, Mulder saw the shaded spirit again, laughing. What kind of thing had he awakened?

“Scully, it’s not like that. This is not you, please let me explain—.”

“There’s nothing to explain, I get it. I made a mistake, it won’t happen again. Now leave, please.”

She reinforced the statement by walking to the door and opening it for him. 

“I did something stupid, you are not yourself—.”

“Please, go. ”

She was fighting back tears, and Mulder realised there was nothing that he could do for now. At least not here. He should have known better than to mess with spirits, they always had their hidden agendas. He needed to go back to Lady Patricia to get this fixed. Hopefully Scully wouldn’t remember a thing and he wouldn't have damaged their friendship.

+++++++

“That was not what I had asked!”

“I told you it be tricky. Ghede is powerful lwa. Death and eroticism are his domain. Sometimes things get mixed...”

“Then you gotta tell him to stop. I don’t want this. I don’t want her to become someone she's not.” He wanted her, but not against her will. Not while she was being driven by some lunatic spirit from beyond.

“It is herself!” Lady Patricia roared with a deeper voice. Her eyes went dark and she stood up. “I only removed inhibitions.”

What was happening? Was she being possessed like in the cemetery?

Lady Patricia shook off and stumbled down on her chair.

“Mr. Mulder, don’t irritate Papa lwa, he can remove his blessing.”

“What was all that?” 

He was angry, worried, and a little scared if he had to admit so. Messing with spirits was never a good idea, he knew that. But he had gone too deep now, he needed this.

“Ghede say he didn’t possesse your friend, and you must believe. He don’t lie.”

“But she tasted like rum, and cigars. That was him,” Mulder wouldn’t take no for an answer when he knew he was right. The spirit had entered Scully, of that he was sure of.

“He only released her of her worries, it seems. But it was truly her.”

Mulder held his head tight. He found himself in a deep mess. Could he trust the spirit?

“Oh, he also say you should apologize to lady.”

What if it was true? Had Scully really wanted him? Mulder couldn’t believe it, but the stakes were too high. He couldn’t risk being wrong.

In a rush, he grabbed some bills from his pocket and threw them out, not worrying about picking out his change. Yelling a quick thanks he was soon on his way out.

This couldn’t become another Philly fiasco. He had pissed Scully off so much, but hopefully he was still in time to fix it.

+++++++

Mulder knocked on her door. First lightly, then with more strength. He was sure she didn’t want to see him, but he wouldn’t leave without talking to her.

“Scully, it’s me. Please open the door. I need to apologize.”

He banged on the door again, and noticed a lady at the end of the corridor peeking through the gap on the door. Mulder chuckled at the thought of Scully’s neighbors being used to the loudest noises coming from  _ the FBI lady’s _ apartment.

“Alright, come in. But stop being so noisy,” she finally opened the door and let him in. 

Scully stood by the door, her arms crossed under her chest. She was wearing pajamas and a robe. Her hair was messy and her face all washed out. Mulder had taken her out of bed. Only now did he realize how early it was.

She didn’t look like her fancy self, all dressed up, perfect make-up and all. But even with those dark circles under her eyes, she was so beautiful to him.

“So?” she raised her eyebrows, waiting for him to talk.

“I did something stupid, like I always do stupid things,” he chuckled trying to ease the tension. “Long story short, I thought you were… possessed?” he made a face, knowing she wouldn’t buy it that easily. “Because that’s kind of the only way I imagine you would want anything to do with... a fool such as I.”

Mulder put his hands in his jeans pockets and shrugged his shoulders. Playing the puppy had always been his best card. Hopefully it would work today, too.

After a little while, Scully finally sighed and shook her head.

“You are not a fool, Mulder—”

“But I’m pretty badly-timed,” he interrupted her. Maybe he could still save the moment and get them back to twelve hours earlier. “I’m here if you wanna try again…” Seeing her face, he retreated a bit. “Or I can make pancakes. I promise I prepare delicious pancakes.”

Mulder started moving towards the kitchen, and as quickly as he could, he started retrieving the ingredients he needed. He was glad to see she had everything he needed. If he had tried to prepare pancakes at his place, he would have had to run to the store. How did people manage to always have food in their fridges?

“So, how are you feeling? You look well today,” he was dying to ask her. They didn’t usually talk about that and he knew it was not the best moment, after yesterday's misunderstanding. But Mulder needed to know if it had all been for nothing.

He heard Scully moving at his back, pulling a chair and sitting at her kitchen table.

“Actually I feel pretty fine today. I haven’t felt any nausea or pain this weekend. ”

Mulder turned around to look at her, she had a slight smile on her face. This was the best news he could have heard. Even if she was to stay mad at him for the rest of her life, it had been worth it. 

While looking at her, he noticed a shadow in the doorway and could make out the spirit of Ghede, looking back at him. With a cigar on his lips and a glass on his right hand, the spirit nodded to Mulder and disappeared. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are ALWAYS appreciated and they fill my heart with joy; so please leave some feedback if you enjoyed reading this piece :D
> 
> }» Audio version available on the Audio Fanfic Podcast [here](https://soundcloud.com/audiofanficpod/xf-a-fool-such-as-i-am-by-aweburnphoenix)


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